We are living through pretty strained times at the moment. We may feel a lot of frustration, a lot of anger or despair. It is easy to become overwhelmed. What can we do with these feelings, how can we find a balance and how can we go about our daily lives in one piece!?
I think it is important to be active. Being aware of what is happening, being active, writing that letter, going to that meeting, joining that organization etc are all great things. We can make a difference and must do so if we feel strongly about something. But that can also start to feel overwhelming. There is so much to be done and we are bombarded by social media. Let’s think about compassion and self-care.
Compassion needs to start with you. None of us are any use to others (including ourselves) if we are drained and exhausted. Compassion towards the self is not an indulgence, it is a necessity.
A mindfulness practice can be a big part of this and can help on many levels. Mindfulness keeps you in the present. You are not focused on regrets or yearnings from the past, neither are you fearful about the future. You give yourself permission to be right here in the moment.
Develop a regular mindful awareness practice. Bring awareness to your walk to work, notice the beauty in the tree you pass, focus on the glorious taste of a meal, the smell of your child’s hair, the wonderful sensation of hot water on your body as you take a shower. Be in each moment.
Do this as often and as regularly as you can. It creates space, it activates your parasympathetic nervous system, and it helps to restore your body and mind.
I think a mindful approach can apply specifically to your social media, news access, and how you choose to be active as well. Be conscious of the time you are spending, maybe give yourself half an hour (an hour or two–-whatever works for you–but set some boundaries) to take in social media, catch up on the news, and organize what you need to do in that context. Then let it go. It is not healthy to be immersed all the time in an unregulated and unmindful way.
Mindfulness is not just about paying attention, but also about how you pay attention. Paying attention with kindness and open-hearted awareness allows you to practice focusing the mind in a certain way.
When we do mindfulness meditation we notice our mind wandering, and we practice bringing ourselves back to our focus with kindness. We are not angry at ourselves, or critical, we are interested in our mind and we are using a compassionate awareness. We notice feelings of anger or sadness, we are aware of the sensations they bring, and without judgment we simply redirect, with kindness. We are not trying to control the experience; we are interested with openness and compassion.
We do this over and over again. Every time we meditate. That is the practice. This over time can bring about a change in habit.
The science of Neuroplasticity is now well documented in showing that our repeated experiences shape our brain. If we practice this compassion for ourselves in meditation over and over, it becomes habitual. We are naturally kinder and more self aware. Then we notice when we are not and adjust our behavior.
Studies also show that increased compassion for ourselves increases empathy and compassionate awareness for others.
There is so much we don’t have control over, but we do have control over how we live each moment of our lives, we decide how we respond. Are we coming from a place of hope or fear, love or hate, from a place of kindness or disconnection?
We do not have to be reactive. When we practice this open-hearted awareness, we are practicing a compassionate response rather than condemnation.
We can free ourselves from reacting out of fear or anger.
Active compassion in daily life is about awareness, seeing what needs doing and making connections. Active compassion in daily life creates change.
You can very easily make a difference to yourself, your family, your community and those you touch on a day-to-day basis. Begin to look for opportunities to do this.
Make an effort to connect. Make eye contact and acknowledge those around you. Be aware of who needs help, or notice who needs a seat on the subway more than you do, perhaps the older man unsteady on his feet or perhaps the young mother with an upset child. An awareness and an active looking for ways to help others wherever you are, creates community.
Make a rule to interact with anyone who is helping you – the waiter, the grocery-store clerk, the bus driver, the guy picking up garbage. Say hello, make conversation, or simply say thank you. Think about reaching out a little further into your local community. Who needs help? If we all do this, the affects are far reaching.
As Mahatma Gandhi said “Be the change you want to see.”
When we meditate using compassion we encourage a generosity of spirit and that generosity of spirit can actually free us from being stuck in ourselves.
Brogan Ganley is a Mindfulness and Meditation Teacher and Healer. Contact Element Healing to book a session using Mindfulness, Meditation, Restorative Yoga, Reiki, nutrition and essential oils.