What is your relationship with fear? Is it something that turns up occasionally to help or protect you? Is it something that visits you daily? Does it turn up when you don’t want it? Does it run riot in times of transition? Does it inhibit you, stopping you from doing the things you want to do?
Fear is primal – we obviously need it, it’s an necessary part of survival and being human. Sometimes we don’t recognize it, sometimes we have no doubt it’s taken over, sometimes we enjoy it, sometimes it’s exhilarating, sometimes it feels completely unnecessary!
Our amygdalae (the part of the brain which processes sensory information from the external world and triggers a response) is designed to alert us to any sign of threat or danger, like a sort of alarm system. In caveman times, this ensured our survival, high alert was required for every rustle in the trees. Now however, we are not in imminent danger most of the time, yet it can feel like we are left to deal with this sometimes over-active trigger response.
We all know the physical symptoms of fear; the fight, flight or freeze response- heart pulse rate increasing, the sweaty palms, hot and cold sweats, dry mouth, muscle tension, stomach churning, or that sudden need to pee. These sensations can be pretty intense.
It’s important to recognize and acknowledge the response. When my kids used to tease each other about being ‘scared’ I let them know that fear is just our body’s sensory system telling us we might need to take a bit more care or we need to get out of the situation we are in. We should hear that message, acknowledge it, and sometimes even listen to it!
Fear and anxiety are often thought of interchangeable but fear has a specific, immediate context. Anxiety is involves a more lingering apprehension, a sense of worry or dread. It’s usually associated with the thought of threat or something going wrong in the future. They can both can affect our lives in many different ways and also show up as a stress-related physical symptoms such as headaches, digestive issues, and, of course, insomnia. In more chronic cases, we might start to avoid certain situations, maybe put things off that we really should do. We might stop taking risks that could really benefit us at work or at home, and we might potentially limit ourselves.
It sometimes feels like we are powerless to control the sensations that come with fear and anxiety. When our body is reacting to fear in a time when we can logically see it has no place – like speaking in public, giving a presentation, meeting someone new, or even our overloaded inbox – then we need to figure out how to let it go. This is not productive, preventative fear, but, instead, a distracting and inhibiting fear.
A few years back, I spent time alone in a dune shack on the outskirts of the Cape Cod National Sea Shore, as as part of an artist residency program. I was driven out in a 4wheel drive and left there. I had pack all I needed for the time I was there, including water. There was no electricity and the only shower was supplied by collected rain water. The shack was in the middle of nowhere, with no humans around. I couldn’t lock any doors, there were holes in the walls, and everything creaked. To get to the bedroom I had to climb some rickety stairs and through a hatch door. It was truly the perfect setting for a horror film! And after thumbing through journals left there I found a lot of people thought just that –some people had completely freaked out and fled early. The flip side to this was that is was one most beautiful and peaceful places I have been and I was there to work. To be creative, to make art. That would have been impossible if I gave into my fear. I had to put my fear in its place and move on. I did and I had a truly wonderful and productive time.
How is it possible? To “put it in its place,” to “move on”? My long-term meditation practice truly paid off here. Meditation allows you to slow down, to gather strength, to let the incessant thoughts dissipate.
This is just one of the benefits of a daily practice – you put the work every day and, like a friend, it is truly there when you need it most.
So to conquer needless fear:
1. Begin a meditation practice
Meditation reduces stress levels. When we are not stressed, we tend not to overreact as much. We are able to take things in our stride more, to surf the ups and the downs. Long-term meditators are better equipped to recognize unhelpful thoughts and let them go.
2. A mindfulness practice
This allows you begin to develop an awareness of mind and body and to notice responses without getting “carried away” by them. It helps us to develop skills to be in the moment rather than the emotion. This moment is new, no need to drag past baggage into it.
3. Knowledge
Understanding what is causing the reaction. Acknowledge your helpful amygdala, your sympathetic nervous system, see how it is working and know you can defuse it.
What about in the moment though? You are about to stand up in front of a room full of people? Your hands start to sweat, your heart racing, your stomach constricts… Fear is natural, fear is intense energy, it can be used as a guide, as a powerful force but it’s also something that you do not want to be controlling you when you need to move forward.
In those cases, I think it is important to:
Acknowledge and name the fear. Recognize it. Even label it.
Notice. What is going on, observe the changes in your body, almost hear the alarm bell going off from the amygdala and visualize turning it off. Identify the thoughts rushing around in your head for what they are – just thoughts.
Relax. Pay attention to your breathing first, then begin to slow it down. Gently, calmly bring it into the belly. Let your body do the work for you, each breath in nourishes, brings calm, each breath out releases any tension. Focus just on this breath. You might even say in your mind “calm” as you breath in, “release” as you breath out. When your mind wanders, simply bring it back. You are activating your parasympathetic nervous system. This sends messages to the body to bring the heart down, settle everything down.
Just do it. You are now in a calm state to rock that presentation, to talk to that new person, to try something new, to stay in that scary shack on your own!
Brogan Ganley is a holistic health advocate. She develops individual plans to help with reducing anxiety, stress and insomnia in both children and adults. Brogan blends Meditation, Mindfulness, Reiki, Restorative Yoga, Ayurveda and Aromatherapy in to her sessions.