Breaking habits is never easy. These patterns of behavior that we create—nail biting, hair chewing, hair twisting, repetitive throat clearing, sniffling, procrastination, over-eating, checking iPhones and social media—usually bring a sense of comfort or temporary euphoria, something our brain becomes accustomed to feeling and doing. But those feelings do not mean that the habits are healthy, either physically or emotionally, and stopping bad habits in their tracks is far from easy. The longer you’ve done something, the harder it can be to stop.
The First Step. Writing down the habit or habits that you wish to change is the first step to breaking the pattern. A list will allow you to take an honest look at what you want to change and will make the desire to do so more concrete, more definite.
The Second Step. Next, keep track of when and where your habit takes place. Habits typically include a trigger, like a certain time of day or a specific place. The habit can also be associated with an activity, a person or even a particular feeling. Knowing when the habit happens will help you break it. A trigger (like a specific person or place) nudges your brain to act in a particular way and that act then becomes a routine. Habits are the automated responses to specific triggers. Once the response is triggered, you receive some kind of reward or satisfaction. That connection between the trigger, the automated response, and the mental or physical gratification is what needs to be broken.
We often hang on to habits because they are familiar. They are easy and mindless. The mind and body can engage in habits fairly easily, because they literally become well-worn paths in our neural landscape—they are ingrained in our brains.
Breaking habits can be very difficult and can take time to accomplish. Setbacks often get in the way too, so the path to success is not necessarily a straight line. Certain habits may require help, perhaps in the form of some kind of regular therapy—physical, emotional, or both.
How you react to stress, certain triggers, or stimuli can seem tough to understand and therefore hard to change, but massage, acupuncture, meditation, exercise, reduced stress and a healthy diet can bolster the ability to make a big shift. Therapists can also help dig through the “trash” of your past experiences to discover underlying causes and triggers and help you find the treasures in your life that will give you the strength to break bad habits!
The Third Step. Once you recognize the triggers, you must create a new routine. Changes in environment and situations create changes in the brain. Shake things up. For instance, if you have a normal, habitual action that you take to relieve stress, substitute a healthier one. Instead of biting your lip, having a cigarette, or indulging in that tin of cookies when your boss needs a word with you, do something else. Go for a walk, take some deep breaths, drink some refreshing water or tea. Make healthier choices for your new routine. A changed routine will create new feelings and new positive energy, and your brain will start to adjust, desiring the new pattern that will make you feel better in the long run.
And finally, practice being mindful. Being present will lead to being more focused and clearheaded, with a newfound sense of freedom. Don’t be too hard on yourself when trying to make change. Acknowledge habit-prone situations, know your goals, and be kind and gentle to yourself as you undertake this daunting, but ultimately rewarding path!